Knave Knews:  Newsletter for the Urban Knaves of Grain/DuPage County, IL

December 1999/January 2000


Table of Contents


Prepare for Lunar Re-Entry

That's right, fellow knaves and knavettes, the club will return to Lunar Brewing for our December meeting.  There will be the usual snacks to munch on and a large selection of draft and bottled beer to choose from.  This meeting is always the best one of the year, so make sure you don't miss it. We were going to try going to the Rock Bottom Brewery in Warrenville for a change, but NNNO-O-O-O-O-O!  The Ill-i-nois Li-quor Con-trol Board said "No way, Jose."  So we return to Lunar and a good time will be had by all. 

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The President's Corner

As 1999 comes to a close, I think it's worth spending some "ink" here to reflect on one of the most successful years in the Knave's history. The major accomplishments of the club this past year has raised the awareness of the Knaves throughout the homebrewing community. As with any club, its success is driven completely by the efforts and participation of the entire membership. Early in the year, we organized and executed the first annual Drunk Monk Challenge. This was a grass-roots effort spearheaded by Shane Coombs and others who planned and organized committees over a 6 month period that will make this a well-respected competition for many years to come. Steve McKenna has volunteered to organize DMC2000 set for the first Saturday in March next year. With the logistical experience in place from this past year, we expect the next DMC to be another memorable event. I've always felt that the Urban Knaves membership comprised some of the best brewing talent of all the clubs in the Chicago area. This assumption was validated when the Knaves were awarded AHA homebrew club of the year status in June. Although we had to share the award with the Oregon Brew Crew, it's nice to know that we're in the same league as one of the largest clubs in the hotbed of microbrewing in the northwest. The challenge now is to do all we can to win the award outright next year and retain the coveted chrome benchcapper for another year. I would like to thank all the members that made the trip to Kansas to accept the award and hope we can get just as many if not more to attend next year's AHA conference in Michigan in June when we repeat. Following up on last year's Yeast Common Denominator, this year's all-club effort was Hopsperiment focusing on the influence of various hop varieties on a common malt and yeast base. Many members took time and effort to make this a valuable learning experience including: Shane Coombs, John Mains, Brian Voirol, Kevin Spealman, Mike Uchima, Russ Johnson, Steve McKenna, Zemo, Tom Oelrich, Rich Janevicius, and Joe Formanek. Thanks also goes to The Brewer's Coop who along with Two Brothers Brewing have been long-term supporters of the club and its activities.

Finally, I'd like to thank the 1998-1999 and 1999-2000 boards of directors for their direction and guidance which has focused the club on the future. They include Tom Oelrich, Phil Gravel, Steve McKenna, Joe Formanek, Shane Coombs, John Mains, Marc Kullberg, and Jim Ebel.

Have a joyous and safe holiday season. Cheers !

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Think Before You Drink!

A DIVER quenched his thirst with a 105-year-old bottle of beer he recovered from a shipwreck before discovering that his tipple would have fetched £1,000. Jim Phillips conceded yesterday that the beer, rescued from the wreck of the Loch Shiel off the Welsh coast, was the most expensive pint he had drunk. The 1,218-ton vessel sank on its way from Glasgow to Adelaide in January 1894 when it hit rocks off Thorn Island, Pembrokeshire. No lives were lost but much of the cargo, which included 7,500 cases of whisky and 7,000 crates of beer, was smashed or washed ashore. Mr Phillips, 51, and colleagues from Swansea Adventurous Divers Club found eight pint bottles at a depth of 24ft. When they surfaced, the cork in one bottle popped and Mr Phillips could not resist drinking it. He said: "The first thing I noticed was the very strong smell of hops. It certainly didn't put me off, so I took a swig. It was flat but it had not been contaminated by the salt water even after all those years on the sea bed. I offered it around to the rest of the team but they weren't interested so I finished it. "We later had the find valued at £1,000 a bottle, so that was certainly the most expensive pint I have had. It had popped its cork anyway so I couldn't see the point in wasting it. We still have seven bottles to auction." Mr Phillips said there were no labels on the bottles, so it was impossible to tell who had brewed it. He has downed valuable drink before. In 1985 it was wine from the Langton Grange, which sank in 1906. "It was lovely. I got a bit drunk and fell out of the boat. We took some to a restaurant and carried on drinking, not realising that every bottle was probably worth thousands." He thinks that some of the Loch Shiel's whisky is still there. "We will go back for it, but I won't drink it. Any we find will be for auction."

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September Pubcrawl

For those of you that were unable to attend the St. Charles pubcrawl on that warm and sunny Saturday in September, here's a quick "best of" recap that may provide some guidance next time you're there looking for a good watering hole or place to eat.

Best beer garden - Eric & Me located at Illinois St. on the west bank of the river. The multi-tiered shaded outdoor deck provides an unobstructed view of the river in a very relaxing and quiet setting.

Best food and décor - McNally's on Main St. about 2 blocks east of the river. Offers very hearty Irish fare and in an authentically appointed Guinness pub atmosphere.

Best view - The roof deck at Billy Biru's. Affords a spectacular view of the east St. Charles skyline as well as the approach patterns for aircraft landing at O'Hare.

Best bathrooms - Danny's. Per crawler, John Kleczewski, "It's positively floral in there!". Comment notwithstanding, Danny's has a wide tap selection from the American industrial lagers to the usual set of UK imports. Danny's is primarily a billiard hall. Darts and foosball are also available.

Unfortunately, the new Fox Bay brewpub was not fully built out at the time of the crawl. It's conveniently located on the east bank of the river about a block north of Main St./North Ave. All reports so far suggest it's well worth a visit.

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Who Unplugged the da Vinci?

The regulars were huddled over their beers at a Williamson Road watering hole Wednesday afternoon when in walked a city judge, a legislator, an assistant attorney general and a sheriff's deputy. Once it became apparent this was neither a bust nor a scandal in the making, the regulars turned back to the bar. Which left the members of the other bar free to pursue their legal duties: Checking out the ambiance of W.R. Brews sports bar and its neon bar lights, the subject of long-standing litigation. More than two years ago, the state Alcoholic Beverage Control Board ordered bar owner William Kopcial to rid his establishment of the lighted displays that adorn the walls. The Miller High Life, the Red Dog, the Moosehead and the Bud Light lights all constitute illegal advertising, the ABC decreed. Not one to be denied his bar lights or constitutional rights, Kopcial filed a lawsuit. His petition asked Roanoke Circuit Court Judge Robert P. Doherty to reverse the board's ruling on the grounds that his beloved beer signs are in fact works of pop art, thus protected from government regulation. They may occupy a beer joint and not an art gallery, Kopcial contended, but his bar lights should nonetheless be given the same legal status as Andy Warhol's tomato soup can or Michelangelo's most famous sculpture. "Does the statute of David suddenly change its character if we put it down in W.R. Brews?" said Clifton "Chip" Woodrum, a state delegate from Roanoke and Kopcial's lawyer. "We would argue no." But if art is in the eye of the beholder as Woodrum said, the judge mused aloud from the bench, shouldn't he actually behold the art in question? Woodrum said he would be "happy as a hog in the water" to have everybody over. So as quick as the bailiff could say "Court stands in recess," Doherty, Woodrum and Assistant Attorney General Louis Matthews packed up their briefcases and hit the road to W.R. Brews. While Woodrum sipped a Coke, the others went drinkless in the search for justice. Legal documents in hand, Doherty compared photographs taken two years ago to the bar's current decor. Where did the Genuine Miller Draft lighted clock go? he wondered. "It burnt out," Kopcial replied matter - of - factly. And about this Latrobe Crafted Brews picture, the judge asked, do you sell that kind of beer here? "I've never even heard of it ," Kopcial said. "I just thought it was a pretty picture." But pretty pictures can run afoul of ABC regulations, which prohibit neon, lighted displays and other attention grabbers for any brand of beer sold at the bar in question. The reason for the law is twofold, Matthews explained: Unlimited advertising could give one beer distributor an unfair advantage over another . At the same time, he said, it also could encourage excessive drinking -- presumably by impressionable patrons basking in the glow of neon bar lights. Doherty said it will be another week or so before he rules. "I think going there brought it all into perspective," he said . Back at W.R. Brews, barstool judges Doug Horn and Jack Yeager, both regulars who sat quietly through Doherty's visit, had already reached their decisions. "I like the place," Yeager said. "It's not drab or anything." Horn scoffed at the ABC's logic as he surveyed the bar lights above him and the cold beer in front of him. "That sign doesn't mean nothing to me," he said. "I knew what I wanted when I came in here."

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Beer Is No Sacred Cow in India

Beer is battling to get the status of milk. The All India Brewers' Association (AIBA) have argued in a memorandum to the government that a glass of beer contains more protein than does the same quantity of milk. Not just that. They have said that the calorie content in beer is lesser than that of a bottle of apple juice, milk or any cola. So do not club beer with hard liquor in computing tax, argues the industry. ``It has to be given the status of a fast moving consumer good (FMCG) that can be traded over the counter at any departmental store,'' said Mr PAB Sargunar, vice-president of AIBA and executive vice-president of Shaw Wallace. ``Beer distribution has to be made open as in Singapore.'' The industry's representation for removing beer restrictions are straight and simple: Beer is only an agri-food. Arguing that it has neither fat nor cholestral, the beer manufacturers' body has told the government that an average bottle of beer gives four vital minerals and five important constituents of vitamin B and proteins. Raw material for beer is malt, the same as for health drinks Maltova and Horlicks. The apex body, representing 42 beer manufacturers, has urged the food processing ministry to delink beer from the status of liquor and whiskey, so that it can be advertised and marketed like any product. They have argued that liquor has an alcoholic content of 42.8 per cent while beer has only up to 7 per cent. In their representation titled `Indian Beer Industry--Needs Policy Support', AIBA has pitched beer as a ``mild and healthy beverage'' conforming to the tenets of ``responsible'' drinking. ``Beer has to be taxed on the basis of alcoholic strength keeping levies on alcohol content as bench mark,'' says Sargunar. Duties and tax account for 40 per cent of the beer cost in India while it is of the order of 20 per cent in US, France and Germany. The brewers' body was invited by the food processing ministry to discuss the beer industry as well as the rationalisation of taxes and duty structures drawn by various state governments. They have said that the cost of one litre of beer taken as percentage of daily income in the high selling states of Andhra, Karnataka and Maharashtra is close to 28 per cent. The comparable figures for US, France and Germany are less than 3 per cent. And if India attains this level of even 15 per cent then the beer should cost around Rs 30 per litre (Rs 20 per bottle). ``It is a highly capital intensive business. It is not feasible for brewers to sustain the current market pressure,'' says Sargunar. ``Brewing companies are increasingly been declared sick,'' he added.

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Can Crazy

It's safe to say, judging from his T-shirt-stretching belly and hat pins advertising Michigan breweries, that Dave Van Hine likes beer. But there is something Van Hine likes better than a good brew: the can it comes in. He likes beer cans so much, he keeps 5,000 in his basement (his wife won't allow them anywhere else). He likes them so much, he scours junkyards and dumps for rusted cans, which he cleans and keeps or sells for $1. He likes beer cans so much, he joined the Mid-Michigan Chapter of the Beer Can Collectors of America and drove Sunday from Frankenmuth to Clawson for the Metro North Beer Can Show. Yes, there is such a thing. And Van Hine is just one of dozens of collectors who showed up to buy, trade and talk cans among hundreds of interested buyers and spectators. "Look at this. This was the first can ever made," Van Hine said to a few fellow collectors, marveling at a 1935 dark red can of Krueger, once brewed in Newark, N.J. "Isn't that a beauty?" Beauty, even in beer, isn't cheap. That can sells for $250, but it's not the most expensive in Yvonne and Tom Sliwa's collection. That would be a $450 green steel can of Fox Head Old Waukesha Ale, canned in 1955 in Waukesha, Wis. "We like them for the art," said Yvonne Sliwa, who collected the pricey cans and about 4,000 others with her son, an emergency room doctor in Indianapolis. "We don't drink. We buy the cans and dump the beer." Not everyone at the Beer Can Show, which is organized by members of metro Detroit's Stroh's Fire-Brewed Chapter of the BCCA, likes beer for art's sake. "Sometimes you have to taste beer out of the really old cans just to, you know, test them out," said Pat Cornils, a Dexter resident and can collector who drank freshly brewed beer from a 1950 can of Utica Club Pilsner. But Cornils has gone further than drinking out of a 50-year-old can for the love of the hobby. He paid $1,100 for "a perfect" can of Pheonix Beer, canned in 1942. Only 25 of that brew survived, because most beer cans went as scrap metal to the government war effort. For Cornils, Van Hine and others, the Beer Can Show at the Knights of Columbus hall was a chance to socialize with other collectors and show off newly acquired pieces. And, as the collectors will tell you, it's not just cans anymore. It's "breweriana," which nearly everyone admits is hard enough to say sober. It includes any kind of beer collectible: signs, patches, posters, glasses, mugs. "Anything at all that has to do with beer, we've got it," said Joe Tomasak of Northville, who started collecting two decades ago while he was a student at Michigan State University. He and his college roommate had a bag of cans they never threw away. "Then we got a few more and more after that. It just grew from there."

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These Frogs Aren't Funny

Health officials working to fight underage drinking are hopping mad over a billboard company's refusal to continue posting ads poking fun at Anheuser-Busch and its beer-guzzling frogs. The ad, featuring three frogs croaking "Big Lose R" with the center frog sitting on a "Not Wiser" can, was supposed to be posted for one month on 20 Oakland billboards. It satirizes an Anheuser-Busch ad campaign for beer, in which frogs croak out the word "Budweiser."

Once Eller Media realized the ads mocked a client, it refused the Contra Costa County Health Department's request for continued billboard space. Eller Media says it can't run ads that offend existing clients, and won't continue the Oakland ads beyond the one-month contract.

The Marin Institute for the Prevention of Alcohol and Other Drug Problems says the decision violates First Amendment rights. Diana Conti, president of the institute, said it was important to have such popular icons as the frogs or R.J. Reynolds' cigarette-smoking Joe Camel seen in a negative light so children wouldn't find the real ads glamorous. "If we can't use the images to debunk the myths, then there's no point in the campaign," Conti said. "We do consider this censorship. Their profit-driven motives undercut the importance of public health." Eller Media said Anheuser-Busch complained about the Oakland ads. But in a statement, Anheuser-Busch Vice President of Consumer Affairs Francine Katz said the company "had no role in the decision to either put this sign up or take the sign down." Eller Media President Paul J. Meyer said he would do whatever he could to help the anti-drinking campaign, including the free use of his creative staff, as long as the new ad didn't attack specific alcohol companies. "I've given them numerous alternatives, but to my disappointment and frustration they have not accepted any offers," Meyer said. "They're trying to generate publicity and controversy, not reaching out to under-aged drinkers."

Hilary Abramson, media specialist for the Marin Institute, said parodying the Budweiser frogs was no different from the successful anti-tobacco ads featuring Joe Camel and the Marlboro Man. "Nobody told the tobacco counter-ads hands off Joe Camel and the Marlboro Man," she said.

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Scottish Pubs Go On-Line

An organisation representing Scotland's main beer and pub companies launched a "virtual pub" where visitors can chat and take part in competitions. The site, scottishpubs.co.uk went online this week. At the same time, the Brewers and Licensed Retailers Associations of Scotland (BLRAS), the organisation behind scottishpubs.co.uk, unveiled an industry site at www.blras.org . It is designed to give Scottish Office officials, politicians, and industry chiefs access to beer and pub market information and data. "The world over, Scotland is seen as the home of hospitality -- great pubs, great beers, and a great welcome," said BLRAS chief executive, Gordon Millar. "Scottishpubs.co.uk aims to reflect this, by giving visitors a flavour of how Scotland's beer and pubs have developed through history to the flourishing industry enjoyed today by millions from home and abroad." One of the features of scottishpubs.co.uk, to be added in early 2000, is a comprehensive visitor guide to pubs in Scotland. But already there are many reasons for visiting the site, according to BLRAS. Users can test their online golf skills with McEwan's Lager, or take on the Tennent's Lager keeper in an Web-only penalty ShooTout competition. Rugby fans can get all the details about the rugby world cup -- which culminates in Saturday's final between France and Australia -- with Guinness's promotional campaign. Whether the site will really "make you feel like you're sitting at the bar in your favourite local," as BLRAS claims, is something that visitors will have to decide for themselves.

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Is There Beer on Other Planets?

As homebrewers we enjoy doing things ourselves. It's just not good enough to go the liquor store and buy a decent pale ale; we would rather stay home and make a great one. Here's an opportunity that I came across a few months ago that I hope some of you will find as interesting as I do. Searching for E.T. As in Extra-Terrestial. Most of us enjoy a good sci-fi movie now and then, but now you can participate in the process of looking for intelligence outside of our solar system. The folks at SETI (Search for Extra-Terrestial Intelligence) spend a lot of time combing the skies with radio telescopes looking for signals that life exists off planet Earth, but they are having trouble examining all the data they collect. This is where we come in. If you go their website (www.setiathome.ssl.berkeley.edu) you can download a screensaver program and a data unit from the Arecibo Radio Telescope in Puerto Rico. While your screensaver runs, not only do you get a nice graphic display of the number crunching, but your computer will be examining data from outer space! When you are done with your data unit, log back on to the internet, connect to the SETI at home website and upload your results and then download another one. This is what I have been doing over the past few months. I have also started a group. "Homebrewers of America" on the website, where I hope if you decide to join in the hunt, you will add your results to mine.

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Beer Put Him Through College

As a lark, Greg Heitz wrote an Internet article about his college years of throwing house parties near Minnesota's Winona State University in the early 1990s, about how he drank for free while selling "bottomless" cups of beer, how he and his roommates cleared perhaps $78,000, how today's students could do even better. After the Winona Daily News reported on Heitz's "How to Throw Profitable College House Parties," reaction in the town was immediate and vitriolic -- against the newspaper. The Daily News was bombarded with dozens of phone calls. It published more than a score of letters, most of them expressing disgust, disbelief or shock that the article was published. Some also called Heitz a jerk, a clown or a criminal who should be investigated by the Internal Revenue Service and whose parties could have resulted in underage drunkenness, violence, date rape or death. Part of the reaction is related to Winona's record of alcohol-related incidents, Police Chief Frank Pomeroy said. In the worst of several drunken-driving accidents, five legal-age students and alumni of St. Mary's University, also in Winona, died in March 1997 when their sport-utility vehicle plunged into the Mississippi River. All were legally drunk. Alcohol was reported as a factor in a 21-year-old woman's drowning last year. A high school senior was badly injured this spring when he fell down a bluff during a drinking party. "The last thing our community needs is an instruction manual on how to entice young people into consuming alcohol," Carolyn and Ray Felton wrote after the Daily News published its article Aug. 22. "Your reporter and news editor need to rethink their priorities." Other writers said the city ought to think about how it deals with underage drinking -- and how it does or does not welcome students. Law-enforcement officials say times have changed and note that selling alcohol to underage drinkers was made a felony by this year's Legislature. Heitz, who lives and works in a Milwaukee suburb, last week defended his parties, which he said attracted an average of 200 drinkers each Thursday night with good music, arcade games and T-shirt sales as well as alcohol. "We provided a great entertainment for the underage people and the overage," he said. "There were never any drugs, no fights . . . really nothing majorly bad." The students would have been drinking anyway, he said, and because the hosts' rental house was across the street from campus, they probably saved drinkers from driving.

You can . . . become a rich and popular student by throwing the best house parties at your school. Forget about waiting for your degree to get a nice paying job. -- Greg Heitz in "How to Throw Profitable College House Parties." Heitz said he decided to write his story after a friend gave him a book on how to sneak into movies, something he did as a kid. His story is published in fall supplements of Internet bookseller Loompanics ( ), along with book listings on how to make a driver's license on your computer, how hackers break into adult for-pay Web sites, how to build a log cabin for $3,000 and the true nature of UFOs. Heitz tells how to fool landlords, cops, neighbors and even drinkers. ("Buy a good beer for the first two kegs and then a cheaper beer.") He didn't fool the cops all of the time, however. He ended his career after nearly four years when officers raided houses all over town and ticketed 78 of his customers, he said.v By that time, Heitz calculated, he and his friends had thrown 144 parties that attracted nearly 29,000 people, most of whom paid $3 apiece for a marked cup that would entitle them to drink until the beer ran out. A few of his tips accompanied the Winona Daily News article. Some readers accused the paper of romanticizing college drinking and called for an apology to readers. "You were right," publisher George Althoff told readers in a column. "The story, as written, did not take seriously the problem of underage drinking." Winona is a small town of approximately 25,000, and the university has close to 7,000 students. This meant nothing to do on the weekends for underage college students, which signaled a big dollar sign for me. -- Heitz Heitz said his parties had a reputation as being better than those around the University of Minnesota or the University of Wisconsin in Madison. But Winona college and city officials say times have changed. Winona State mandates an alcohol-free campus and "tends to attract a higher caliber of students," said Calvin Winbush, vice president for student affairs. Pomeroy said police have adopted a "zero-tolerance" stand, made arrests at 145 parties last year and have cut the city's overall crime rate by 30 percent. Still, he said, Winona has 80 liquor licenses, "way too many to what the city can support. That is one of the problems that tends to lend toward binge drinking and a lot of minor consumption."

Heitz, 30, took his wife back to Winona this summer and found where he had left his initials in his party house, which is to be demolished. "It really is a nice town," he said. Second thoughts? "Not at all," he said. He said he met a lot of girls and "good quality friends" at his parties, which produced many relationships and probably some marriages. "I'm a good person, and I run things properly. That's why we were so successful."

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Beer Helped Bring Down the Berlin Wall

The East Berliners who first pushed open the Berlin Wall 10 years ago said they were not thinking about freedom, German unification or even escaping to the West. They just wanted to have a beer. At a party on Bornholmer Strasse (Street) Bridge where the Wall was first breached at 20 minutes before midnight on November 9, 1989, hundreds of Berliners celebrated the magic moment 10 years ago when East German border guards threw open the gate. "They said the Wall was to open on the evening news, but I didn't really believe it," said Juergen Procopp, now 47 and unemployed. "I came to the border crossing to see for myself and there were hundreds of people chanting to open the gate. "I didn't want to flee to West Berlin. I just wanted to go over, have a few beers, look around and get back home to my wife, who was in bed." Matthias Klipp, 38, who took his wife, Edda, for a midnight tour of the West while their infant son slept at home, said: "We just went a few blocks over, had a pizza and some beer, celebrated a bit, and then went back home. "We were afraid that they wouldn't let us back into East Berlin. "Thank God they did."

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Last modified 07/04/02.